it was and it wasn't . . .

8:15 a.m., i was in the kitchen wrestling with the T, filling his gut with a hot mixture of breading, broth, spices, celery and onions.  meanwhile his giblets were bubbling softly with veggies, bay leaves and more broth.

9:00 a.m. and the dip was made, brownies dripping with caramel cooling, salad and veggies prepped, deviled eggs cooling.

another load of laundry, dishwasher running, floors mopped.

finally i settle down with a mug of swisse mocha and call aunt ida to check up on her.  aunt ida is the 9TS's favorite aunt.  she's in her late 80's/early 90's and lives in jersey.  spunky.  caring. fragile.  out of the blue, she tells me how she was listening to glenn miller albums one night as was her custom and she started to not feel well.  as she headed off to grab an aspirin, she did a dance step or two.  her son, jackie shouted, "you go, mama" while her husband jake, chorused in with "swing it, ida."  

problem is, jackie died ten years ago and jake's been gone for twenty.  and no, i had not shared my thoughts on visitations, but dammit, i want mine.

11:30 a.m. in the shower.

12:30 p.m.  removing mr. T's tent and taking his temperature.  peeling taters.

12: 40 p.m. popping the brussel sprouts into the oven.

as the minutes tick by, the asparagus and mac and cheese also find their way into the oven, the turkey comes out, gravy is made, taters are mashed, turkey is carved . . . it was a three person enterprise . . . ham sliced, drinks poured.  cranberry sauce jiggling.  yes it had can marks decorating its side.

jackie pulled me aside and whispered that joe requested not to be seated at the 9TS's place at the head of the table.  check.  craig pulls me aside and requests not to be seated at the head of the table, his old seat would be much appreciated. check.  a quick rearrangement of seating and we are all stuffed along the sides with craig and the far end where he belongs.  the 9TS was definitely there in spirit if we had anything to say about it.

and so we noshed and chattered and laughed and noshed some more.  then with little room left, out came the lemon meringue and pumpkin pies and the brownies.  burb!

and so when the last of family left at 7:00 something, i realized we had made it through our first Thanksgiving without the 9TS.  it wasn't easy but sharing the loss among the seven of us made it seem less daunting.  kidlet was right.  it wasn't the same but we were forging new traditions.  thank you oh wise, kidlet.