the best Christmas present ever . . . .

two christmases ago, while the 9TS was so sick and chilly most of the time, kidlet decided to crochet him a lap blanket for christmas.  she inadvertently underestimated the time it would take to finish the project and as a result, it wasn't quite done when she presented it to her dad on christmas morning. he told her it was the best present ever.  Unfortunately, he ran out of time and the blanket sat in my bottom bureau draw for almost two years as kidlet had lost heart and was having such a rough time coping.

i did notice about a week before christmas, when i went to grab a throw, that the blanket was missing but since my brain is also missing, i just figured i has stashed it in kidlet's old bedroom to have more space.

enter christmas morning, and my present turned out to be the finished blanket.  she decided since she had made it for her father and she knew how much that meant to me, that it should be a family affair.  it is a beautiful blue and white lap blanket and she says she will continue to work on it until it is full size.  i don't care what size it is, i just love that it is one more thing that binds our little family.

p.s.  if i close my eyes, snuggle it tight and inhale, i swear i can still smell his scent on it.  LOVE!

meow . . .

joanie's birthday is december 8th and i actually had her present made on time but unfortunately somewhere between the design process, the fabric and the stuffing, that frankenstein-ish creature with the erogenous tail is now residing out at the curb awaiting the garbage man tomorrow and no, i am not sharing a photo.  it was all too sad.

but yesterday, i finished its replacement(s) and gave them to her after our morning walk through the hood.  

(and yes, joanie, i stole your photo off FB because your kitchen counter is prettier than my workshop space.) 

just so you understand, j has three cats.  a very grumpy black and white cat named Athena.  a beautiful solid gray named Sheba and a small totally lovable, lithe tabby named Annie.

what else for a cat lover who has everything.  

random kelli . . .

jeanne:   I want a dinosaur suit.

kelli:      {snort}  I want a supermodel suit.

jeanne:   How cool would we be!!!!!!

kelli:      About as cool as we are now, silly!!!

jeanne:   Then we rock and don't need the suits.  ST.

kelli:      Ha!  They would come in handy at times.

jeanne:   Think of the awesome powers they would give us.  I could even deal with the tiny front arms.

kelli:     Haha!!!   Instead of Benny and the Jets we could be Kelli and T-Rex.

love this girl.

this.that.and.the.other.thing

since i'm sporting a Minions bandaid on one finger and a sliced knuckle on the next guy over, tonight's stroganoff better be good.  remind me to get the butcher to do the dirty work next time.  actually, remind me to take my knives to the sharpener.  or book a room in the ER.  or all of the above.

thanks, Les.  miss you too.

did i tell you i got a new camera.  i finally broke down as soon as the Canon 70D was released in September.  slurp.  i always swore there was something wrong with my old 50D from the time i opened the box but instead of doing something about it, i kept on using it, whining the entire time.  finally i decided i just wasn't that good a photographer and stopped shooting.

guess what?!  it was the camera.  not that i will ever be on the cover of National Geographic or even the back of a milk carton, but it makes me happy to know i can still get a decent shot now and again.  happy.  happy.

kidlet is still cooking up a storm.  the other day i left her totally to her own devices and she yelled a five minute dinner warning up the stairs.  perfectly grilled swordfish, onion roasted taters and corn.  kidlet you rock.  take one giant step forward.  oh heck.  add one banana step too.  you deserve it.

she's also been crocheting up a storm.  we took goodies over to her favorite staff members in winter park . . . her summer vacation spot.  three baby blankets, lots of hats and purses.

after our jaunt to tampa, we made another one to orlando to check out UCF.  enormous campus.  huge campus.  now all we have to do is wait for the mail lady to deliver the results.  USF, UCF or FSU.  is there an acronym for an excited grandmother?

that's it for now, but i promise to be back with more mayhem.  the fog is lifting.

too cool . . .

we had a visitor last night and i'm still trying to figure out how he got here.  we took down the tree his relatives used to gain access to a lower roof and then the pool cage.  maybe he has super powers of flight.  maybe its Rocky Raccoon in our very own back yard!!!!

kidlet got bored.  when i returned home from our camera club meeting, she showed me some shots she'd taken.

and this is what you get when you decide to sail a flotilla of paper boats across the pool at night with the underwater lights on.  too cool!!!!!

changes . . .

i wish i could say i was back but a general malaise seems to have dropped over me and the things i used to get the most enjoyment from are no longer tickling my fancy.  not a big deal, my mojo will come back.  it just took a walk somewhere.

so instead, i'm going to tell tales on my favorite munchkin . . . kidlet.  she'd been doing so much better.  the world is finally looking a little rosy.  finally she understands that some of her feelings are exactly as they should be.  that they are normal feelings and not manifestations of depression.  point in case, we took my granddaughter to Tampa two weekends ago to the USF open house.  After attending presentations, seminars and doing a campus tour but before heading for Five Guys for some mega fries, i drove over to the northwest corner of the campus and said a final goodbye/prayer to Moffitt.

it didn't take long and we were all soon munching happily and popping peanuts in our chubby little cheeks.  suddenly, i noticed that kidlet was being awfully quiet and when she asked for the keys to the car, i let her go.  when the rest of us finished lunch, we headed to the car and there she was with huge gulping sobs racking her tiny frame.  hooray for kidlet!  does that sound odd?  shouldn't.  this was the very first time that she had an appropriate response to a overwhelming emotion.  she didn't try to suppress it.  she didn't shirk from it, she let it flow.  good healthy tears for her dad.  kidlet, you rock!!!!

and she's still doing well in the kitchen.  she made Friday's beef stew from start to finish. before when we've cooked together, she's always handed the chopping to me.  with her familial tremor, she and knives are not always the best combo but this time she forged on while i went on the pool deck to let pip play for a bit.  when i wandered back in, there she was, tears streaming down her face.  rut roh, what now?  but she looked me squarely in the eyes, and asked if THIS was a normal reaction to cutting onions.  i burst into laughter.  yes, kidlet, perfectly normal. you are now a cook!!!!  it's the small victories that taste the sweetest.

tonight, she was supposed to have her regular tuesday swordfish but instead, she had a Relay for Life meeting.  yup, she is back volunteering for them . . . another fine blessing.  tired of swordfish, i had made a big mess of chili.  when she returned home it was too late to grill.  but surprisingly, she asked for some chili.  i guess here is where i explain that kidlet is not fond of beans.  or peas.  or lentils.  actually, i was surprised she asked for the chili at all.  but then i watched her grab a small ramekin from a cabinet and just knew what she was going to use it for.  somethings in life never change.

until next time . . .

we're having company for dinner tomorrow night which in and of itself, is no big deal and will be lots of fun, but then my miserable housekeeping skills come back to bite me in the bottom and i panic at the thought of  the dust bunnies dancing across the floors, strewn cat litter in every corner, paw prints on wood surfaces and nose prints on windows.  i need to shave those little guys and make them wear little flannel booties.

today is cleaning day.  the dining room is done.  i had to empty the canister.  the living room is done.  i had to empty the canister.  the hall just needs to be mopped but i still had to empty the canister.  my Dyson animal is one hard working beast . . . at least when i remember to use it.

the gravy is simmering away on the stove.  there was just one little accident while transferring the chopped onions to the hot oil . . . some of the onions wiggled loose and went swimming in the water boiling for tea.  i have a feeling this batch of iced tea may not be my best even if kidlet and i did fish them out . . . eventually.

yesterday, the pool deck got bleached.  the furniture needs scrubbing too but that can wait.  one step at a time.

and so by tomorrow, we will be in some semblance of order when our guest arrive.  and then.  i can forget all about cleaning until next time.

lousy vid. great eyes . . .

yep, that's Pippin.

why this house lacks pc-ness and sanity . . .

i was reading a piece today that referenced both yogis and yoginis.  never having heard the word yogini before, i looked it up:  a woman who practices yoga.  so there i am repeatedly hitting the pronunciation sound chip when kidlet comes up the stairs and asks what the heck i am doing.

so i told her i am a yogini.  she looks at me and says:  "Yo Guinea! Whazup?"  snort!
                                                                    or
this morning i got bathed, dressed in my yoga gear, got in the car, drove across the cul-de-sac and sat in Joanie's drive way at 9:30 to pick her up for class.  i waited.  i filed my nails.  i wondered why she was taking so long.  i looked at the clock.  and then i realized our new class didn't start until 11:00.  i zipped out of her driveway and into my garage and laughed myself silly.

things 1 thru 4 . . .

do you have any idea how hard it is to try and dry off a grill while the sky is still weeping copious amounts of rain?

hard.  as in never ending.  until the tears stop.

thankfully, kidlet, who has turned into a damned fine grill master, managed to flip the burgers onto their plate and hi-tail it into the kitchen before the heavens opened but the grill was still too hot to put its cover on unless i wanted it melted to the grill like the cheese melted to the plate before it could make it on the burger.  true story.

so finally it let up enough for me to sort of swish it dry and get it covered.  i am waging a war against rust.  i will win.
*****************************************************************
it is not a good idea to wash your polyester yoga pants in the same load with a no-sew fleece blanket that the cats had stolen for their own.  my pants are now furrier than the cats.
*****************************************************************
true proof that I am not a sociopath.
*****************************************************************
this is what happens when you see a monkey suit in Target:

kidlet will be warm this winter.

never relax your facial muscles . . .

so you know all the old jokes about aging . . .  your boobs end up in your lap [or they would if you had any] and your bum is somewhere around the back of your knees?

pfffft!

i was in yoga class this morning and we were doing downward facing dogs.  no problem.  and then the instructor says, breathe.  i breathe.  she says, relax your facial muscles.  i relax my facial muscles.  and then i go blind.  what!!!!

why is it that no one told me that if you are over 64, and you're basically hanging upside down and you release your facial muscles, your jowls flop toward your eyebrows, forcing the pouches under your eyes into your lower eyelashes which obscures your vision.

true story.

apache blessing . . .

“May the sun bring you new energy by day, 

may the moon softly restore you by night, 

may the rain wash away your worries,  

may the breeze blow new strength into your being, 

may you walk gently thorugh the world and know its beauty all the days of your life.”     

just sayin'

beware of friday the 13th . . .

i am not superstitious.  but some things give me pause . . . like Friday the 13th.  yeah, it freaks me out a wee bit.  and with a packed schedule that day, i carefully drove myself to yoga, watching my speed . . . yes, i have a lead foot, and the traffic.  on the way home, i needed to visit the ATM at the bank before heading to lunch with Robin.  as usual, there was a line of cars and limited parking.  i pulled up behind a honking big Ford Ranger . . .  and waited for a space.  suddenly, i saw the truck's back-up lights.

rut roh, i said, as i leaned on the horn.  all faces in the lot swiveled in my direction.  all faces but one. as time slowed to a screeching halt, the cry of anguish from my poor little miata filled my ears.  call the surgeon.  get the ER ready.  code blue.  smash.

And notice this little goodie here:

it's a death ray emitter.  seeking miata's and smooshing them senseless.  bad dude.

o.k., so the damage wasn't all that great.  but it was Friday the 13th.  and i am squeamish.

my poor baby goes into the spa on Wednesday for a three day facelift, botox and fillers.  sigh.

cancer sucks . . .

for fourteen years, i have been part of an on-line family.  we met on one of the now defunct AOL boards.  we've been through the births of lots of babies in our years and the deaths of loved ones, first days of kindergarten through last days of grad school, marriages and divorces, from just plain heart break to happiness.  we've raised our offspring with each other's help, traded recipes and rooted for school teams . . . we range in age from 65 to 30 something.  we hail from Maui to  Ontario.  the Oregon coast down through California.  we cover the midwest from Wisconsin to Indiana to Illinois. Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Florida, South Carolina and Maryland.  we've ranted and whined, cheered and supported one another with deep love and affection . . . all from afar.

but on monday, we lost one of our own.  Tara Grinspun lost her 14 year long battle with ovarian cancer.  she fought it for so long and with such grace that i think we thought she was invincible.  it turns out she was not.

cancer sucks.  you've heard me say it before.  melanoma stole the 9TS from me while ovarian cancer claimed my mother's mother and then my mother and tried to steal my sister.  three generations.  i opted for a preventive hysterectomy in 1996 and shall be forever grateful that i did.

ovarian cancer whispers.  get your check-ups.  learn the signs.  advocate for yourself.

be a Les.  be your own hero.  be my hero.

no accounting for taste . . .

where there is a will, there is a way.  i still can't log in using Goggle but i can with Safari.  yay.  a discovery made just in time to recount my culinary upheaval. sigh.

i'm taking yet another photoshop class which requires the use of Pinterest.  since i wasn't enamored the first time around, i had to reactivate my account.  and of course i got caught up in the frenzy and started pinning like the maniac that i am.  all sorts of house and home ideas, graphics, fabric based crafts and then recipes.

the first one i tried was a lemon garlic, one pot chicken recipe with green beans and roasted red potatoes.  yummy, huh?  not so much.  it was rather puckery.  as in my mouth started doing calisthenics as yet unknown to mankind.  i was able to reuse the left over breasts for sammies for kidlet, but the beans and taters were beyond help.

thinking the well praised chicken dish was a fluke, i tried another, this time white chicken enchiladas.  another fairly simple recipe with a sour cream and diced chili sauce.  i get so excited, i forget to take shots until i am well into my dinner:

but for this one, i stopped mid eats because i wasn't feeling it.  even with the addition of some really good salsa, it did not fall into my definition of mexican food.  i looked over at kidlet who was apparently having the same problem.  the comment section of this recipe was full of praise, well at least until it fell into a heated debate about corn vs. flour and the consequential burrito vs. enchilada.
that should have told me something right there.

kidlet and i fled to the kitchen and drowned our disappointment in the birthday cake that nancy had brought over earlier.  now that woman can cook and bake.  scrump-da-le-iciousness!!!!

and so i have decided that Pinterest may not be the best place for me to garner a fuller culinary repertoire.  i'm heading back to ina, maria and the other heroines of my epicurean literature.  Bon Appetit ladies.

partly . . .

thanks for all the emails and texts asking why i have been m.i.a.

partly because google will not let me on my own blog from my laptop and i am too much of a slug to drag myself over to the desk top to post.  totally true.  i am ashamed.

partly because someone shared their germs and i have been busy buying stock in kleenex, halls, alka-seltzer and robitussin.

partly because my life is boring except for maybe this visitor who took not one but two laps around and through the pool before sashaying out the open door of his own accord . . . or maybe because kidlet was hot on his tail with the pool net:

partly because i have had my nose in a book.  according to goodreads, i've finished 62 this year.  nothing earth shattering . . . in fact most are downright seedy.  i do love me some crime/mystery.  i've choked down a couple of classics but mostly i have been downloading the library's grimier stuff.  oh, and chick lit.  and if it happens to be a chick lit mystery, color me the purple of the valspar chameleon.  

partly because i've been zentangling my little heart out.

partly because there is a new project on my sewing table.

but mostly . . . MOSTLY because i am lazy.  

stup . . .

i found this recipe for a sausage/bean/spinach stup and knew i had to try it.  i'm not a fan of the Aidell's flavored chicken sausage which is all that is available in this little burg so i opted for plain old sweet italian sausage.  slurp.  i also didn't have any fresh thyme so i opened a jar.   forgive me please. i also smooshed an entire can of beans into paste so the soup was really more like stew.  i'm so used to the 9TS telling me that soup, like gravy has to simmer for a long time to meld the flavors, that there was no way i was going to let this pot off without some time on low with the lid on.

all those flavors concentrated and the soup/stew was outrageously good.  even the second bowl was delish.  the third, albeit smaller was still great.  yes, i did.  i most certainly did. 

can't wait for lunch tomorrow. 

step by step . . .

kidlet is in the process of moving bedrooms.  i will now have my very own upstairs aerie complete with bedroom, bath, loft and guest room.  and she will have her private little nest downstairs with her own bath, bedroom and across the house . . . living area.  ah, separate bathrooms.  win win.

she had a white board hanging on the wall along with a bulletin board.  the bulletin board was hung on brads.  easy peasy removal.  the white board however, was attached by sticky tape and thwarted our attempts to remove its carcass.  i swear it was glued on permanently and short of using a crowbar, i was stymied.  then we tried maximum brute force.  the two of us at once, jamming our fingers as close to the edges of the wall as possible and pulling.  finally one corner gave way.  just some residual stickum to be removed.  the other three were still holding fast . . .  digging in their toes with all their worth.  but with the leverage of the one freed corner, the others finally loosened but not without a grimace inducing ripping sound. 

 

oops.  another trip to Ace Hardware on the horizon.  thankfully, spackling has come a long way from the days of priming, pasting, sanding and repainting.  whew!

ok, so it isn't the best spackling job in the world but look!!!!!

they don't show.  yay!!!!  life is a wonderful thing.  step by step.

"Inch by inch is a cinch
  Yard by yard is much harder
  Life without you baby is harder
  Life without you baby is hard"

grace . . .

thought i would get some walking in before the heavens opened as they have almost every day all summer long:

by the time i got back to where i started, the clouds were filling up:

by 11:30 the sky had opened in full force.

what blessings we have had this summer. 

hee hee hee . . .

last night i missed an automated phone call from Lowe's advising me that my grill would be delivered between 7 - 9 p.m. tonight.  oops. 

i called the toll free number provided to let them know that the order had been canceled.  after being on hold for 17 minutes . . . yes i was timing it, not that it mattered because i was happily watching Criminal Minds . . . i hung up and decided to call the manager of the store in question.

after chatting with said manager, he told me he would have to verify my order before he could allow it to be canceled regardless of my having a cancellation confirmation firmly in my paw.  say what?  he would call me back.

and he did.  thankfully, they had received the cancellation notice and it was just some miscommunication between the store and the delivery company.

unless of course my doorbell rings tonight at 7:52.

om . . .

it is just too hot to walk in my steamingly brilliant florida hometown this august.  even modifying our treks to the ungodly hour of 7:30 a.m., is of no consequence once the sun comes up.  well, that and the neighborhood bear.

since i was into my typical summer yoga withdrawal and groupon was offering ten sessions for $29 at a new local yoga studio, i signed up with my trusty pal, joanie.  this place is totally different in that it is strictly dedicated to yoga and pilates.  their schedule is massive with multiple instructors.

first i called the head instructor, katie, to see if it was geezer friendly.  she assured me it was and so joanie and i bopped over last thursday to sign up and enjoy a 'gentle yoga' class with michael.  what a wonderful class and while i know i should have been centering, it didn't hurt that michael was obvious eye candy . . . especially if i were kidlet's age. don't scrunch your nose like that, old ladies are still allowed to look.

friday, we tried a 'slow stretch' yin class with molly.  let me die in peace.  best class ever.  and the cold scented compresses applied during shavasana . . . blissful.

monday, thinking we were on a roll, we tried katie's 'joyful flow' class.  she had explained to me over the phone that it was a basic class amped up for a group who had been together for a while but that she considered doable for this chickie who just signed up for medicare.

you'd think that four plus years of yoga would have prepared me but halfway through, my mat was dripping with sweat, my bangs were plastered to my forehead and my heart was beating out a triple time tattoo.  the room was hot and as those little gray spots started to overtake my vision, i decided discretion was the better part of valor and collapsed into a boneless lump while the rest of the class including the intrepid joanie kept switching from the dreaded downward dog to the wicked warrior pose in rapid succession.  katie meanwhile came over to pat me on the back and assure me i was still indeed, among the living.

'joyful flow' my mother's petunias.  joanie and i dragged our mangled bodies out the door and into the refuge of her car.  a/c never felt so good.  we decided we were in over our respective heads and would try katie's earlier/easier monday class next week.

today when i came home from lunch, kidlet told me katie had called to see if i was still breathing. it was a cute message of concern and cheer leading.  i called her back and left a message assuring her she couldn't scare us off that easily but then again, my alligator mouth has always been a little bigger than my canary @ss.

om.

watching too much antique's roadshow . . .

the other day i realized i couldn't keep my ever growing collection of cookbooks on my kitchen counter anymore.  they were taking over.  i read them like novels.  the most obvious place for them would be safely tucked on a shelf and since i have no unoccupied space crying out for stuffing, i have to make some decisions.  i opened the least used of my cabinets and started rummaging.


if i removed the eight rocks glasses that belonged to my ex-husband's parents, i would have my space. yay!  but first a bit about these glasses.  they are homely.  not just unattractive, they are dead dog ugly.  they just take up space.  i can't believe i didn't eighty-six them when i moved several years after the divorce.  the 9TS and i never once used them.

out of the cabinet they came and down onto the kitchen table.  idly, i flipped one over to see if they had a maker's mark.  yep, a G with an arrow through it.  since i had some time before lunch, i hit the computer and realized i really was blind.  it was a G with and I through it.  stands for Imperial Glass.  a now defunct company. so i did a google search for gold etched ugly glasses and bingo.  there they were.  the elusive, rare, Sekai Ichi Gold by Imperial Glass.  no wonder they are rare.  who'd want them????

i found a single glass selling for $185.91 cad.  EEK.  and i quote:  "Serve your guests in 24 KT gold. Manufactured by the Imperial Glass Co these glasses were the minimalist luxury of its day. Still stunning. They are in good vintage condition with some wear. There is one where some of the gold has worn- nothing that takes away from the integrity of the set."  not sure why they refer to the set since there is only one left.  still shaking my head.

want to see these beauties?  OK, i'm going to share:

so now, what do i do with these guys?  they are not going back on the shelf.  the cookbooks have moved in and refuse to leave.  i can't toss them anymore because  . . .  well, i've watched to much Antique's Roadshow.  i am not an ebay person.  i guess i'll just have to pack them up and find space in the attic although kidlet would rather i sell them and get the downstairs bathroom re-tiled.  she has a point.

what's the deal-io . . .

whatever happened to customer service?

the 9TS's closet is finally finished.  the new carpeting went in yesterday.  while the painter finished up in may, cutting out the damaged wall board and scouring down all the shelving and painting the entire closet, all that remained was the carpeting.  in june, i ran over to my friendly neighborhood flooring expert . . . the guy who installed all our hardwood floors . . . and explained i needed a remnant for the closet.  we've been using him for years.  he said, 'don't worry, jeanne, we'll take care of you.  $20 for the remnant, we'll throw in the padding, give the installer $50.  done deal."  he'd call me to set up a date.  no call.  finally about 10 days later i call him and he says he hasn't forgotten about me but will get it done.  two months later:  nada.  hummmm.  yes, it was a killer offer.  yes, i appreciated it, but why offer if you aren't going to follow up on it.  sigh.

friday, kidlet and i went to another local establishment and ordered a remnant from them.  yesterday morning it was installed.  job well done.  while it was twice the cost, it was well worth it.  nice peeps.

maybe there is hope in the world of customer service.

remember my lowe's saga?  friday i ordered the grill on line and immediately got an email with the confirmation.  the store would contact me with a delivery time.  yay.  based on previous experience with lowe's, i kind of expected a call the next day.  no call.  saturday, ace hardware was offering free quarts of paint.  since kidlet and i are painting one of the bathrooms, we decided to take advantage of the offer.  not only did they give me a free can but they urged kidlet to fill out a form so we got two free cans.  while waiting for it to be mixed . . . we were the 55th and 56th free cans of the day and it was only 10:00.  wow . . .  we wandered around the store picking up various painting necessities.  and then we came to the grill aisle.  and there was the baby weber.  last years model in all of it's glory.  sturdier and more solid then this year's offering . . . yes, i read the reviews.  i was drooling but i had made already placed my order.

today, i had to stop back in for a can of spray paint and some florescent bulbs and my feet just naturally did a little tap dance to the shiny baby weber.  i was smitten.  it was smaller and more compact.  it was petite and non-scary.  it had a 50 year warranty.  but would they deliver?  troy, the manager, was called over.  after ascertaining that i lived a mere 2.5 miles away, it was a deal at no extra charge.  i called lowe's and cancelled since they had yet to call and arrange delivery.  an hour later, that baby was tanked up, i was given a rudimentary lesson on its ins and outs by two delightful guys and it was temporarily tucked into the garage. 

so what's the deal-io?  why are some companies so ready to bend over backwards to help out their customers while some just couldn't care?  the new carpet company called after installation to make sure i was satisfied.  the installer was top notch and the job done in the time frame promised.  ace is also locally owned.  their manager steps all over himself to be helpful.  is lowe's just too big?  i don't get the difference but i do know who will get my business. three cheers for the hometown boys.  you rock!

under fire . . .

things need to stop dieing around here.  last night as i was grilling bread and thin slices of zucchini to add with basil, olive oil and some crushed red pepper and the ever present goat cheese, i noticed the grill wasn't behaving itself nor was it the night previously.  so i opened the doors and squatted down to have a lookie loo.  good grief, the entire top of the firebox, or bottom of the grill pan . . . whatever you want to call it, had rusted away.  there were open flame inches from the propane tank.  gah!

step away from the fire.  i had visions of flying through the newly installed pool cage and into the pool as a human torch.  for she who cannot easily rise from a squat, i did pretty darn well. 

kidlet and i dragged the dead body to the street and called the 'metal' man.  within five minutes the carcass was m.i.a.  which leads me to wonder which one of my neighbors is really the local junk man in disguise.

which of course meant that we needed a new grill.  which of course led to a grill shopping expedition.  with advice in hand, joanie and i headed to Lowe's where the pickins were slim and the assistance even slimmer. 

i thought it best to attack from the net.  i found a review of the top ten units in my price range, which did not include all the bells and whistles that the old monstrosity offered but would fit my needs . . .  the 9TS being a lover of all things gadget-y. 

i found it.  top rated.  uncomplicated and sold at Lowe's . . .  just not ours.  nope.  if i wanted it, i would have to drive 36 miles and get that puppy slapped into the CR-V and wobble on home with it.  so i called our local Lowe's and plead my case.  'they were not authorized to sell that particular model and if i wanted the two burner Weber we had seen earlier, they were going to charge me to deliver it around the corner even though the net said, "free delivery".  'bout that time, my happy-go-lucky assistant decided he needed his lunch break more than he needed me and told me to call the other store.  literally.  well, harrumph.

undaunted, i called the toll-free number on the site and chatted with a really nice gal named Candace.  boiled down, yes they had it, yes they would deliver it for free and yes, it would be assembled . . . unassembled being an absolute deal breaker.  perish the thought.

hopefully, those 40,000 btu's will be grilling up chicken, swordfish, assorted veggies and all things short of me in a matter of days. 

now will things please stop ceasing to function for at least another fiscal year.  please.

all is normal . . .

so pippin, my epileptic squirrel in a cat suit, has done it again.  i placed my iPhone on the bedside table after calling a friend.  apparently i left it on the 'favorites' setting.

pippin suddenly leaps from the floor to the table top and shoots rapidly off and onto my bed, bypassing the sleeping bear and lunges to the floor on the far side, in a matter of seconds.  all very normal.  but then my eye catches my cell.   911 from my favorites list is activated.  i quickly hit the cancel button and giggle to myself about how silly she is.

until the phone rings.  "this is the sheriffs department.  someone called 911 from this cell."  um.  yes.  that would be pippin, my cat. but everything is fine.  silence.  i try again and apologize.  more silence.  i guess she doesn't have a cat.

little boxes . . .

Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same,
There's a pink one and a green one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.                                                                                   melvina reynolds

for a long time, kidlet's doctor, therapist and i have thought that something was going on in her world that was more invasive than depression . . . as if a major depressive disorder and ADD were not enough.  but when all of this started, she was only 15 . . . and like many fifteen year old girls, she was all over the place.  it was hardly the time to slap a label on her.

but we would see her hypersensitivity to criticism or rejection, her perfectionism, her feelings of inadequacy, her pushing away from relationships, her difficulty adjusting her moods and yes, thoughts of suicide.  something was there.  something making her life miserable.  our fear was that at 16 or 17, she would read a definition of a 'disorder' and become it.

problem is, kidlet, unlike all the 'little boxes on the hillside' resists fitting into a carefully constructed set of bullet points.  she is also sweet, brilliant, funny, imaginative, loving and empathetic.  and then while treating the depression, we realized that she was sensitive to the higher does of SSRIs and they were making matters worse adding in panic attacks to the repertoire.  it was time  . . . she was now 25.

and so it was carefully broached  . . .  the possibility that there was more going on.  something else that needed to be addressed.  it didn't surprise her.  although she has lived with her own personality construct for so long it seems, well, normal for her, but she did realize that not everyone struggles as hard as she does.

after changing her meds once more . . .  to help with both the depression and the emotional upheaval and just starting a new behavior therapy that would help modify her coping mechanisms and reroute her thought processes to better support her well being, she still crashed.  badly.

kidlet has spent the last 30 days in a residential mental health treatment facility.  group therapy seven hours a day five days a week with a lesser load on weekends.  long hard hours of work putting humpty dumpty together again.

she came home tuesday.  a happier soul.  a more connected person.  with coping mechanisms up the wazoo.  she is mindful and centered.  there will be lots more hard work to bring her the total happiness she deserves but she's working like a dog.  she will get there.  she is focused.

and, since she doesn't fit into one of those 'little boxes' in which doctors tend to shove their patients, there is no label.  kidlet is her own person and i am so proud of her.

there are stigmas to thumb our noses at.  there are battles to be fought.  but at the end of the line will be a life worth living.  a productive happy life.  and who can ask for more.

and life goes on . . .

it's been a really good day even if i did get my cart of goodies to checkout and realize my wallet was still at home on the bed from a little on-line shopping in which i had indulged this morning.  sigh.  i ran the milk back to the fridge, returned the perishables to their respective shelves, asked the girl to watch the rest of my cart, drove home, grabbed the wallet, backtracked, once again, snagged my spoilables, paid the bill and went home again.  this is my life.

but wait.  wait.  it's a very good day.  designer digitals, my favorite source for all things digi had a surprise 30% off sale on everything in the store so i moved my wish list to the cart and slapped the magic "buy" button with vigor!!!!  oh happiness.

yesterday, the mail lady delivered a surprise from sue:

thank you, thank you, thank you sue for the avid encouragement, the monthly mailed art and the friendship.

Zentangles . . . be still my heart.  these are two i did from a tutorial:

and then there was this one.  not sure if i prefer the before or after.  oh so calming when in motion:

 i'm liking the stippling:

the cats like to play in the mess that is now my bed, scattered with pens, a pencil, several thousand pounds of erasure dust, card blocks, and brushes.  sweet.  sweet.  sweet.

and then the UPS man decided to visit with some books i had ordered.  happy.  happy.  happy.

and i started off the day just floating around in the pool under the warmth of the 9 o'clock sun, yakking with joanie and absorbing friendship.  my life is blessed.  thank you all.

om . . .

i found an on-line tut for a celtic knot.  while it looked easy, it seems my brain was not up to the under over, under over mentality required to create this little goodie.  there is a major boo boo.

not to be deterred, i decided if i messed with it, i could hide the aforementioned botch job and no one would be the wiser.  in theory, i am certain that works.  in my world, it just creates a larger opportunity to blunder and blunder i did.  so i tried to fix it with white out.  epic fail. 

but here's the thing about zentangles.  they aren't about perfection or passing/failing.  they're about the inner peace that comes from the repetition and letting the creative juices flow.  they are my new go to for easing out of the day and slipping into sleep.  yoga for the brain.  marinate in the goodness, folks.  marinate in the goodness.

i'm a slow learner . . .

when i say it takes me a while to get up to speed, i'm not talking minutes or seconds, i'm talking years.  light years.  eons.

an example you ask?  my 1988 honda was nine years old before i discovered the coin change holder while looking for the fuse box.  and it's not like i hadn't missed it.  i could never understand why the car didn't have one. 

another?  kidlet used to do her homework on the dining room table.  to me, the lighting from the chandelier was good but not great.  it was also a pain in the ass to dust.  all those little globes facing upwards catching every dust mote that happened to waft by.  she never seemed to mind the lack of direct lighting but one day, doing close work, she reached up and flicked a little here before never noticed  switch and a little light came on flooding the area with a right proper beam.  how could i have missed it?

but i am catching on.  remember my newly purchased red bedspread.  i was bemoaning that fact that it was actually too ample in size.  first time i have ever complained about that!!!  so as joanie and i were doing our early morning meanderings, i groused and she suggested i turn it one quarter turn on the bed.  now i'm not saying i would never have figured that out by myself but it probably would have been the week before it died of old age.

but now we come to the corker.  my bathroom vanity, not having been updated since the house was built in 1988, has a set of six round light bulbs above the mirror.  being blinder than a bat, i buy the highest watt bulbs i can find.  starting last week, i noticed that after standing at the sink for more than a minutes or two, a light would flicker and it would all of a sudden become noticeably brighter.  it kept happening and i kept trying to remind myself to check it out and replace the faulty bulb.  today, i remembered.  it wasn't a bulb.  it was the fluorescent recessed lighting in the soffit.  say what?  in the seventeen years we have had the house, i never notice it and apparently they have never needed to be changed in all of those seventeen years.  go figure.

i'm waiting for the day i wander around the house and discover kidlet has a brother that i failed to notice.

doodle-o . . .

i'm still here folks.  at least i think so.  been doodling away the time until the return of kidlet:

keeps me off the streets and out of the traffic.

nothing else much has been going on.  baby steps.  baby steps.  baby steps.

doodle day four . . .

and yes, i missed a day.  today's prompt was to doodle and find the faces.  here we go in black and white:

 and then in color:

the background is still white.   my cell takes not so wonderful shots. 

fun to play with.

day 2 doodling . . .

so this a doodle camp but my idea of camping doesn't have bugs, sweat or rocks under my spine.  india ink, cold press paper yes, roaming bears, no.

here's day 2:

what's it really look like?

except the brown pillows are moving elsewhere.  oh, and it took the cats three long hours of hunkering around the bed before they decided the new bedspread didn't bite.  pippy wouldn't even sleep with me last night.  silly beasties.

busy. busy. busy.

week two of kidlet being mia.  i am keeping myself busy.  eating.  well, that too.  i am a stress eater.  no surprise there.

back in may, i signed up for doodle camp.  yep, an on-line, back to grade school, doodle all over your paper bag book covers, camp.  so glad to see tinka, marg and jana along for the ride.  class started monday. 

here is my bound doodle book.  please do not ask how many times i stuck myself with the needle or had to pull out the knots from the waxed thread.  the instructor said to measure out about two and half arm lengths of twine.  i must have monkey arms.  i had way too much left over. 

and my first doodle.  ever wondered what goes on in my brain?

wonder no more.

this morning i finally made the white eyelet pillow shams to match the white eyelet dust ruffle that goes with the red spread for my bed.  after a year and a half of sleeping with non-washable poly and imagining hundreds of little cat butt prints, i tossed the old set in favor of all things washable. 

i'd show you a picture but i'm getting up the nerve to try and change the dust ruffle on my king-sized tempur-pedic mattress by my lonely.  last time i attempted it, it crashed down on me and nailed me like a slice of baloney between two slabs of wonder bread.  this time i will at least have my cell phone with me.

and to keep myself occupied at night, i gather up a nice glass of cab and a book.  just finished #47 for the year.  books, that is, not bottles of wine.  

fat cats rule . . .

no one woke me up this morning.  i actually got to sleep in.  pippin, as usual, was in the crook of my leg, snoring softly, but no one else was around pawing, smacking, starting a commotion. murmuring:  hungry.  hungry.  hungry.  i was wondering if maybe i had accidentally locked the other two in another room. 

finally i got my lazy body up to check.  somehow they had gotten the top off the diet kibble again and gorged.  bear was stretched out on the landing in all his mammoth glory.  i swear he burped as i passed by.  ninja was hanging off the top of the recliner with a very content look on her face and a burgeoning stomach.

one step backwards in the battle of the bulge.

it's going to be a long month . . .

and when i get stressed, i clean.  actually it is the only time i deep clean.  started today by doing all the hand wash, the regular laundry and ironing.  all is done except for the hand wash that has not yet dried.  note:  you know the warning labels on clothes that say dry clean only but come back from the dry cleaner slightly less than white?  i have a rayon top that was now decidedly gray.  it was do or die.  i soaked it in ivory and bleach and it came out white.  take that you erroneous label!!!

of course pip has not helped.  she ate her breakfast, jumped up on the high window sill above my bedside table, looked around and lost her cookies . . . all over my notebooks, ipad mini box, files and a paint box.  yeah, there is a jumble of goodies by me at night.  everything survived except one note pad.  sorry, but there was no way to wipe off enough cat yak.

the other night, the alarm system decided to wail at 12:08, long after i had gone to bed.  by the time i came to my senses, slithered down the stairs to turn off the system and trudged back up to get the phone, my alarm company had hung up.  i called back and let them send out the cops.  a really nice female officer came.  not sure who startled whom more, she because she thought the house was empty or me because i was thinking she was the burglar.  all was good, except for the mud she tracked all over that house.  that will be wednesday's project.

and so with today's chores managed, i played with photoshop.  my favorite toy of all time:

good night Junie Moon.

sigh . . .

she's back in the hospital.

'shrooms . . .

another recipe landed in my inbox from Proud Italian Cook.  this one was a must try and so i did:

portobello mushrooms with mozzarella, tomato and fresh basil.  Slurp-o-licious!!!!  i am at peace.

and another . . .

another challenge . . .

ha!  you thought i was going to say with kidlet, didn't you.  thankfully no.  this is a challenge going on over at Designer Digitals and once again i am late to the party.  it's called 50 shades of gray.  all grays with one color for accent.  btw, the 9TS took this shot for me.

for father's day . . .

what? . . .

so the other day, kidlet and i were at our PCP's office.  he wanted his two cents in on her kidney and thyroid numbers.  he's pretty sure her kidneys are fine but set up a recheck and will follow up with the nephrologist.  the endocrinologist is scheduled for the 25th.  he will wait for those results too.  while we were chatting and explaining, not once but twice, i forgot what i was going to say in mid-stream.

this has been going on for a while.  years ago, as in 1998, my then doctor told me it was just information i didn't need so it didn't stick.  don't worry.  i mentioned it to the good doctor who said she could make me an appointment to test for dementia but she was sure it was just stress.  i forget names, places, almost any noun.  if i am tired it is worse.

but our PCP looked me in the eye and said, it's time he saw mom.  gee thanks. good thing he is booked until august.  the cats wouldn't know what to do if i got their names right.  kidlet would be relieved of her memory bank services and i'd have to sell my stock in post-it notes.  the only time it makes me really crazy is when i forget the clue in a crossword puzzle by the time i find the related blanks.  or when like this morning, i couldn't find my wallet anywhere.  i tore this house apart.  i remembered writing receipts in its checkbook register last night but from there on it was a total blank.  i finally found it in my camera bag under my camera.  who'd a thunk it.

however i still know what a can opener if for so i figure i am good and the cats are still happy they get fed.  still wondering what i did to tick off mother nature.

to my little flag day baby . . .

happy birthday
kidlet!!!

 

well actually you have to wait until 4:11 this afternoon but who's counting.  

love you to pieces.

mom

drool and slobber . . .

did i ever tell you i love to read cook cookbooks.  i mean love to. i read them like novels.  but they have to have photos.  lots and lots of photos.  more is better . . . um, so maybe more like picture books than novels but you get the idea. i picked up a 'pioneer woman cooks' book at a garage sale for $2.  although it would be nice to make her ooey gooey goodness, my cholesterol level spikes just turning the pages.  doesn't keep me from a large sigh and a little drool.  i found this recipe for brownies.  my next door neighbor nancy taught me what coffee does when mixed with chocolate.  pull me up off the floor.  please. 

today i discovered another drool worthy site, funky junk interiors.  i love somethin' for nothin' and this woman is queen.  now i'll be dreaming of re-purposed ironing boards, saw horses and palettes.  check out her section called my projects.  oh my.

and speaking of royalty, look at these stats.  i am crazy proud of this fighter!!!!!  go les!!!

yesterday was the 9TS's older son's birthday.  we were going to have a bbq and swim but mother nature had other ideas.  thankfully a little drizzle didn't stop the grill.  there were hot dogs and hamburgers, french fries, salad, deviled eggs, baked beans, corn on the cob, watermelon and chocolate cake . . . now you see why my cholesterol spikes without help.  the man had grown a beard.  not a full beard but a mustache on down beard.  at 45, it is coming in gray.  not a problem but every time i looked at him, i saw the 9TS.  comforting but eerie.  a clone.  a mini me.  and it wasn't just the facial features, it's also the mannerisms and vocal cadence.  wowsers!

and so while i am catching up on the laundry, i am happily flipping through books, marking pages, dribbling off my chin and remembering good times.  so here's my challenge to you.  sit down.  close your eyes and remember when.  enjoy.

on losing my marbles and other things . . .

since kidlet celebrated her 10th anniversary with the good doctor, i thought i would share:

yep, she had it designed.  the one is chocolate, the zero is vanilla.  something for everyone.  no wonder she is their favorite patient.  and how discernible is my jersey accent that when i call and they ask if they can put me on hold for a second and i say 'sure', they get back on the line and say 'hi, jeanne'.

just to keep you abreast, kidlet sees the nephrologist day after tomorrow, fingers crossed please and if you happen to have a direct line to big guy, good thoughts would be appreciated too.  the doc says in her eighteen years of practice, she has never had a patient with kidney problems related to lithium.  leave it to kidlet.

ok, i got side tracked.  back to the 10 year thing.  it was in the summer before kidlet's sophomore year that she first got smacked over the head with the depression stick.  so essentially, it is my 10th anniversary too but not really.  but by the time the 9TS was diagnosed with stage iv metastatic melanoma, instead of just taking kidlet to see the good doc, i became a patient myself.  the human brain can take just so much before a little help is much appreciated.

by the time we had lost the 9TS and kidlet had had her m.a.j.o.r setback, my marbles were scattered to the four corners of the earth.  it's really tough playing a game of ringer without all your little glass balls.  or any balls at all for that matter.  but see, here's the dilemma:  both the good doc and kidlet's and my therapist, treat my anxiety as it regards to kidlet but kidlet isn't my only issue and about the third time in a row that i lost it in the good doc's office, she decided i needed my very own therapist.  one who would concentrate on me.
 
so last week, i trudged in at 7: a.m. and met with my newest guru.  a very nice lady who decided i really had not finished mourning the 9TS when the proverbial you know what, hit the fan.  we talked about various and sundry things and made another appointment for tomorrow . . . with homework.  item one was to join Tumblr.com and keep a blog there.  item two was to fill out a piece of paper she gave me with a hand drawn picture of a trash can.  it's called a 'stuff it can' and i need to write down all the things i want to stuff in the trash so i can move forward.  can you hear the theme music from jaws?  i can. 

i checked out Tumblr and decided it wasn't for me.  and since i already have a blog and since you already know i walk on the edge . . . this works for me.  after i stared at the garbage can for a while, i thought go for it.  fill that sucker up with all the stuff that makes me crazy and so i did.  a miffed almost relative who wasn't notified . . .

screech . . . put on the brakes . . . kidlet just read this and said essentially . . . no mom, you can't air your crazy in public.  start a closed blog.   why is it kidlet has more common sense than i do.

i am taking my marbles and playing elsewhere.  so there! 

be back soon.

kidlet has been doing amazingly well.  she ventures out on her own without serious hesitation.  she's being creative.  happier.  step by step, life is getting better.  we understand this is a long term adventure but she is captain of her ship these days and it is oh.so.very.good to see.

and then the phone call.  the numbers from her blood test are off.  a second test proves it was not a glitch.  her kidney function is not as it should be, neither is her thyroid.  the probable culprit?  Lithium. 

we just got the referral to a nephrologist and are waiting for one for an endocrinologist.  in the meantime, her primary care physician wants in on the action.  as i rattled off dates for her, she looked up and said, "Mom, I see more of my doctor's than I do my friends."  true dat.

monday, she has an appointment with the good doctor.  it will be their 10th anniversary together, so kidlet has special ordered a cake for the occasion and will waltz it into her office at 10:50 a.m.  gotta love this new attitude!   

once again, what goes up must come down.  we've had enough of this roller coaster.  could we please trade it in for a new little Toyota Tundra for kidlet????

crowning glory . . .

this is kidlet's newest endeavor.  she is making more hats for the littles.  this one comes with its very own crown, braids and flowers:

not sure the zebra likes it but then again, he is a captive audience.  cute.  cute.  cute.

and then so you can see the damage mother nature wrought:

today, i am going to enjoy the great outdoors and see if i can make some headway in the weed patch.  gorgeous, gorgeous days in the burg.

miss me, miss me . . .

now ya gotta kiss me!

i think this has been my longest gap in blogging  . . . not counting when the 9TS and I were out paddling around in the big blue sea once or thrice.  just not in the mood although lots has been going on. 

the house is done.  the screen company is back logged . . . tis the season and everyone wants to play in their puddles.  the closet is repaired.  carpeting will come in next week. 

but the truth is that cleaning out the 9TS's closet, doing the repairs and having a nice clean new bright spiffy closet is rather sad.  that was the home of his stuff.  clothes.  karate uniform.  old photos.  7,952 pairs of shoes, his hats, shirts, pants, my favorite blue jacket, his ratty old . . .  he couldn't part with them . . .  slippers.  all things 9TS and now they have been donated, given away or chucked so the repairs from the leak could be fixed and the mildew removed.  i feel like a part of my life has been removed.  i loved that part.

on the other hand, kidlet has been doing some simply awesome stuff.  she's crocheting up a storm, stopped by a knit/crochet meeting by her lonesome, runs errands, and tonight started with the basics of cooking.  my heart is going pity-pat in a very good way.

to jump start things from the miasma that has moved in, i have signed up for a doodle class that starts in july.  i'm also reviewing an old class i signed up for that will help me get off auto with my camera.  it's about time i learned all the bells and whistles. i'm beginning to feel like i'm being shipped off to summer camp and am getting excited.

milli-thanks to sue for her monthly inspirations.  i wonder if she knows how much happiness she pops into the mail.

be back soon.  jeanne

you were saying . . .

the entomologist . . . isn't that better then beth the bug butcher, was due at 8:30 . . .  her little girl tossed her cookies off the top bunk at 4 a.m. and consequently she re-booked for monday morning.  john the painter arrived at 10:00 and is competently completing the closet . . . robert, the pool purveyor,  pranced in at 10:30 and properly plunged the pool.  rob, the screen securer, is coming next wednesday to give me a quote on redoing the raggedy remnants remaining 'round the rotunda.

now, not to change the subject but i have a question.  do any of you all ever have pee dreams?  you know, you're in the middle of a decent dream when all of sudden you have to 'go' really, really badly but in your dream there is always a reason why you can't:  the toilet is dirty, there are people watching, there's no paper, the toilets are all jammed, you're on a motorcycle sitting on a perfectly good toilet seat but your banker is on the seat behind you????   i want to hear stories.  i'm betting you have some doozies.

the cave is getting an overhaul.  first stop PAINT.  gone the decidedly pink tinge . . . bring on the creamy goodness:

 Next stop.  Indoor repair work!!

and then there are these goodies, collected from the net:

a bird sitting in a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch, but on its own wings.  always believe in yourself.

life would be better if we wore more tutus  . . .

forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness
but because you deserve peace.

namaste.

happy mother's day all . . .

kidlet, who is genetically unable to hold back surprises, especially presents, handed me a certificate last week for a hot rock massage for this coming tuesday.  she figured it would end a perfect day of yoga and the lunch bunch.  she figured correctly!!

then this morning, she wandered into my room with this little sweetie:

 

and yes, he is a tad appendage challenged but only because she was so exhausted last night from working on him that she fell asleep.  is he not the cutest?!?!?!?!?  no fears, his arms are coming forthwith.  love this little fellow.  love you kidlet.

between kidlet, stacie, craig and steph, it's been a great mother's day in the cave!!!

EDIT:  and he has arms . . . the better to hug me with!!!!

 you rocked him, kidlet!!!!

in no particular order . . .

these came to the door last night.   color me happy.  thank you stacie for the mother's day flowers.  gorgeous. gorgeous. gorgeous. love you.

this certainly isn't the best vid of my bizarre littlest beastie but it will give you an idea . . . if you can actually make her out:

 

and this little robotic fellow was a present kidlet made for her godson who is all of four months old.  it's a snuggly security blankie:

as women of a certain age (cough) approach their eligibility for medical assistance, it seems they are pelted from all directions with offers from insurance carriers to cover that not covered by medicare.  this must be big business.  daily, their mailboxes are stuffed with official looking documents that scream:  choose me!! while the fine print reads: not affiliated with any government entity   then the phone starts to ring:  this is senior _____, we provide.  click!  and finally, yes, the doorbell rings:  we sent you correspondence . . . quack, quack, quack . . . well may i leave my card.  harrumph.

addictions, zombies and geysers, oh my . . .

* don't taste test a serrano pepper you are using for a marinade unless you want your lips to blow up.

* scrub your hands twenty seven times before touching your eyes.

* kidlet's almost newest project.  [her newest is still under wraps until received by its new owner]:
                                         A Corporate Zombie! [ i think i used to work for his wife.]

* i posted this one on FB but decided to share it here too.  i wanna go back.  now!

*  the pool is once again green but the deck and furniture have been scrubbed clean!!!

*  the release valve from the pool pump broke and i had my very own geyser.  i named it blowhard.

* i got kidlet addicted to sudoku.  hee. hee. hee. 

* she got herself addicted to the french bakery.