a better day . . .

good lunch. with good friends. and time to play:

credits:  paper, word art, overlay, masks, boat, stitches: anna aspnes.

irrationality . . .

today is/was an angry day.  rationally, i know my sloth didn't leave me on purpose.  i know it wasn't his choice, but i am mad.  really. really.  mad.  i want my old life back.  i want the company of the sloth. i want to giggle at his silly jokes.  i want to hold his hand.  i want to see his goofy smile.  i want to see him snoozing in his chair.  i miss him and i hate that he left me. 

food glorious food . . .

it really is a good thing i walk five miles, four times a week.  it is the only way i can eat the way i want.  so after trudging through the woods this morning i got cleaned up and headed out to lunch with friends.  rooftop no less.  yup every one of the 37 steps:

Greek!  even better, although leave it to me to order panko fish and chips at a Greek restaurant when everyone else is ordering stuffed spinach and veggie gyros.  will, i never learn?  But the truth be told, my first choice was baked goat cheese in marinara sauce with warm chiabatta bread.  Unfortunately, no marinara today. 

and after a few hours of R&R, i decided to head to my own kitchen for dinner.  on tap?  BBQ flat bread with spinach, mexican cheese and chopped tomatoes:

slurp!

i yam what i eat.

and now i yam off to play with a kit i downloaded this morning . . .

one ringy dingy . . .

this is Florida,  i realize that.  bug heaven.  and like most sane Floridians, i have a yearly slay the bug service.  it is time.  i can tell.

last night pippin danced on the ironing board trying to chase an errant bug up and down the wall.  she caught  it at one point but being still quite young herself, didn't know what to do with the creature trapped in the fur under her paw.  as soon as she let up the pressure, the bug was off and running, pippin in as hot pursuit as possible, considering the confines of the ironing board.

i went back to my book, soon to be, once again interrupted.  pippin was dancing on the long bureau, head tipped back at an odd angle, chirping her little i see another bug song. and sure enough she had found another ant on the wall.  i watched her antics for awhile before shoving my nose back into James Patterson's verbiage. 

This morning, the beasties woke me up en masse to be fed.  i stumbled into the bathroom where i keep their golden nuggets of crunchiness and having divvied them out, hobbled back into bed for a little more snooze time . . . until mother nature decided to call and back i wobbled into the loo.

i was sitting there, well, doing my thing when i felt the visage of eyes upon me.  cut me a break. still no alone time with the porcelain goddess?  surveying my surroundings, my eyes swept the floor, walls and finally the ceiling and there it was, some rare eighteen eyed bug, hanging precariously from the popcorn just above my head. i could not flee. i was, as they say, trapped like a rat. glued by necessity to the throne of glory.  he looking down, me looking up.  gah!

praying that he had extremely strong legs, i hurried my business and launched myself horizontally across the width of the bathroom.  grabbing a wad of toilet paper, i snatched that creepy periplaneta and thrust him head first into the recently occupied bowl of death and flushed.

yes, my year is up, it is time to call the bug man.

matanzas inlet . . .

credits: stitching: anna aspnes, tags: katie pertiet, push pin: kitty designs, frame: rhonna farrer, masks: something blue studio.

out of the cave . . .

and on an adventure.  robin and i headed to Matanzas Inlet by way of Paul Baliker's studio, walked the beaches and noshed.  stunning day.  a truly stunning day.  the water was so blue it looked like the Caribbean.  i may have forgotten my phone but i remembered my camera.  here are some of the highlights:

Paul Baliker is known for his drift wood carvings but has recently started casting:

 his more traditional works are totally amazing:

please click on his link an see the most amazing pieces, in really good light.  wow!

and back in the car, we headed to the inlet.  shoes off, toes in the water.  sun shining. color me thankful to walk with a good friend.

 this next one is straight out of the camera.  amazing.

 something set off the birds:

and then we ate.  as usual, i was so hungry, i forgot to get some shots.  sigh.

after picking up my car at Robin's, i drove down along the ocean with the top down, thinking just how lucky i am to live where i do, to have such good friends, to remember to be thankful.

it has been two months.  the lord giveth and the lord taketh away.  i need to remember all that is given.

the twilight zone . . .

what an odd day.

i woke up very early.  4:50 to be exact.  dripping wet.  soaked.  i had opened all the windows last night relishing the fact that i would get to sleep in 49 degree temperatures for probably the last time until fall.  instead, i was impounded under a thick layer of dead polys . . . they being the only fabric the beasties cannot destroy . . . and two fur coats piled on either side.  i rose, fed the monsters, threw back the polyester comforter and basked in the cold until it was time to rise for real.

as soon as i stepped on the floor, my right foot protested in pain and then acquiesced.  took my shower, put on my face and found i had been locked out of anything google.  my gmail account had been compromised and i needed to have the powers that be call with a verification code.  surely my laptop would be more reasonable but nope.  goggle was tighter than a tick.  no blog.  no mail access.  Gah!  they called, gave me the new code and my life was righted except for my face not quite looking like my face.  pale as a ghost.

headed down stairs and my right foot rebelled and nearly tossed me down to the landing.  huh?  got dressed, limped over to the bureau to find a pair of earrings and promptly dropped a backing.  at least my foot didn't argue while i was burrowing through the piles of cat hair stashed around the baseboards.

finally i texted Joanie and asked her to drive.  i was not taking chances.  not i.

we arrived at yoga and i headed for the women's room.   thinking the woman at the sink was one of our yogis' i greeted her on the fly to the nearest cubical.  when she replied, i realized it most certainly was not Linda's voice.  the chatter continued from her end . . . about her early morning blood draw etc . . . i determined i was going to have to stay cloistered until after she had departed . . . my awkward meter having climbed sky high.

yoga went well as did lunch. as did my tuesday afternoon nap until i arose at 4:43, looked at the sun and panicked.  i was way late for my morning adventure with Robin and why had my iphone alarm clock frozen at 4:43.  the television too.  i tried to the fan to see if we had power.  in total panic, i open my laptop,  it too said 4:54 . . . time having advanced . . . until ever so slowly, the realization hit me that it was indeed 4:forty something TUESDAY not wednesday.  cue the theme song from jaws.

fast forward to a call from Joanie saying she found my nail polish in the mall and had picked it up for me.  i threw on my flip flops and headed across the circle to meet her.  problem being, my flip flop configuration was not mine.  yet they were definitely my very old, very worn flops.

i think today i am living in a parallel universe.  i hope to wake in the correct one tomorrow.  sanity, wherefore art thou, sanity.

out and about . . .

i decided to put on my big girl panties and take myself to an event the sloth and i would have gone to together.  i thought about backing out and staying home in my comfort zone but truly, that would not have been what he wanted.

and although it wasn't the best weather:

an art show is an art show except when it is also a jazz festival:

this show is relatively small but it was still fun to wander around and snoop here:

and here:

and here:

but mostly, i love the oddities, like this:

and this:

 and closer:

and this:

 again just for fun:

and of course there was this, taken just for Joanie:

with a little stop for lunch at Panera . . . yes, it was a pretty darn good day.

i downloaded a new set of Photoshop brushes last week and finally got a chance to play with it.  love the graphic quality and it gave me a chance to play with blending.

Credits:  Texturemate Grid #2, Frame:  Julia Makontinsky, Floral brush:  Katie Pertiet. Stitches: Jackie Eckles.

the more we get together . . .

yesterday i walked my five miles, went to lunch with old friends, got my hair clipped, ate Kentucky rolls at our favorite sushi place with Kidlet, watched the newest Muppet movie and went to bed.  it was a very good day.

why you ask?  because the more things change, the more they stay the same. 

you'd think with all the walking, i would be a stick but in truth, i eat too much . . .  be it fried fish sammies, Kentucky rolls or mint chocolate cookie frozen yogurt.  i should cut back.  its been this way since i was 14 except then i really was a stick . . .  128 pounds on a 5'9" frame.  stick.  on the other hand, i love food, i'm in good health and being a stick is over-rated.  i like me.  non-stick frame and all.  old age rocks.

the photo of me on the right was taken last June.  sometime in October i had it all sheared off.  now i am growing it back.  except for my hippy era waist length tresses, that's the way i roll . . . short, not short, short, not short. 

on the way home from dinner, Kidlet inquired about learning to drive a stick again.  it should be noted that when she first got her permit at 15, we tried with little success.  but now with almost ten years of driving under her belt, she wanted to try again.  not too shabby until she got nervous and the Miata got testy and then the air was full of squeals and pops and sputters.  half the time i couldn't tell if the noises were emanating from Kidlet or the Miata.  but she is getting better and the next time she'll nail it.  p.s. the Miata got an extra bucket of oats for patience.

Kidlet didn't care much for the offerings on TV when she was little.  Cartoons did nothing for her.  Blue's Clues?  nada. the New Mickey Mouse Club: zilch.  the only exceptions were old Elvis movies and the Muppets.  i could plop either one into the VCR and she was enraptured.  although her fascination with Elvis waned, thankyouverymuch, her fondness for the Muppets, especially Gonzo endured.  for Easter, her basket held the newest of their movies and last night we finally had a chance to watch it together.  there was my 23 year old fist pumping just as she did when she was three.  the only thing that could have made it better would have been a guest appearance by the King.  but in lieu of bringing back the dead, the cameo by Sheldon made her night. 

see what i mean?  the more things change, the more they stay the same.  and i wouldn't have it any other way.  nope, not i.

slurp!

I've found a new binge.  Flat bread, how I love thee!

 

This one is of course, the one that sent me down this path.  Fresh spinach, chopped tomato and herbed goat cheese.  Crisp, juicy and piping hot out of the oven, dressed with olive oil and some coarse ground sea salt.  

Tomorrow I am going to try pulled chicken marinated in hot sauce, black olives, bleu cheese and spinach.  I wonder if I can pop bacon bits on top. 

And then maybe something traditional like mozzarella and pepperoni.  Ah, the possibilities.  Slurp!

contemplation . . .

and so at dusk, I find myself fully fed, glass of wine in hand, sitting on the deck with Pippin, unwinding.  It's not that my days are packed or uber stressful, but they are different now . . . I am more mindful of being solitary.  It's not a bad thing, just different.   I need to get used to the newness of it all. 

The woods are full of feral cats and they come to visit if I am quiet.  Pip doesn't quite know what to do with these encounters and gets shooed back inside.  She lives an encapsulated life and is not vaccinated for company of this sort.  She cries piteously to be let back out.  I tell her to go play with Ninja and Bear but she is only two and wants what she wants when she wants it. 

And so a calmness and a sameness have settled into the cave and into my life.  I am developing new habits built around oneness.  I keep the house cleaner.  I have to concentrate to make sure I am eating correctly.  I am sleeping again and keeping my nose in a book.  But I miss the chaos of two lives intertwined.  I miss my sloth.

even the gulls do yoga . . .

back to the beach again today, and doing a happy dance. we walked north this time until we thought maybe we had found Lee's aerie and we had.  she came out onto her balcony and waved.  we wandered on for a bit more and then headed back to the car.  this time, we didn't have a mileage check point so we went by time.  an hour and a half.  had to ditch the sneaks for the last bit home.  so lovely to feel the sand between my toes again.

oh, and of course we had to stop to pay homage to the birds all balanced in Vrksasana or the Tree Pose.  How bad is it that birds do it so much better than I?

then off to slurp up some lovely flat bread with goat cheese, spinach and tomato.  a very good day.  thank you my friends!!!!

good for the soul . . .

this morning, Joanie and i took our walk to the beach.  I had forgotten how beautiful it was down there. 

 And here it is without me playing around in photoshop:

I didn't realize until I downloaded it from my cell that it had sand graffiti.  But that is all part and parcel of the beach.

Great walking.  Great company.  Great weather.  A definite do again!

i don't want to talk about it . . .

(this is your cue to stop reading right now and go do something constructive.  Adios.  Shoo.

What?  Still around?  OK, you gluttons.  you were warned . . . )

today just wasn't peachy.  it started out fine.  I got that rare urge to scrub the heck out of the kitchen, got some long overdue paperwork mailed out, changed the linens, made some phone calls and was just relaxing with a mug of mocha when I got a call saying our taxes were done:  mine, kidlet's and the 9TS's.

Off I head to pick them up and here's where it gets tricky and starts to go down hill:

I go to the attorney with the sloths taxes.  The attorney sends me to the bank.  The bank doesn't seem to agree with the attorney, screams and pulls a few of their hairs out.  The bank sends me back to the attorney.  The attorney screams and sends me back to the bank after he pulls some of his hairs out.  From bank number one, I go to bank number two.  They send me back to the attorney, who is now bald.  Seems the banks and the lawyers don't see eye to eye or hairline to hairline as the case may be.

Actually, I can deal with all that.  It was a drop dead gorgeous day, the top was down and in a perverse sort of way, I was enjoying the drama between the banker and the attorney. 

What went wrong, you ask?

Bank teller #1:  was he your husband?  how long were you married? OMG, he died the day before his birthday.  yada yada yada.

Bank teller #2:  he was young.  how did he die?  There's a lot of that going around.  quack. quack. quack.

Now I know they meant well . . .  and it is all just small talk.  The stuff people say when you're both hanging around waiting for machines to spit out paperwork.  The point is, in person, I don't want to talk about it . . .  heck, I avoided my shrink for six weeks because I thought she was going to make me talk about it . . .  she didn't by the way . . .

I can rant here because this is my blog.  And the conversation is, after all, rather one sided.  But I don't want to talk about losing the 9TS.  Seriously.  Don't ask.  It's like someone sticking their finger in an open wound.

And so as not to leave without sharing at least one tidbit of amusement, this is Pip at her thieving best:

flitting about . . .

the new pads for the furniture finally came.  now i can spend indolent afternoons on the deck, reading and warming my old bones under a slathering of sunblock . . .   not to sidetrack my own post but kidlet and i both have appointments with our dermatologist this afternoon.  have you made your appointment yet?  . . . mostly though, i like to grab a glass of wine and sit on the deck in the early evening and watch for beasties in the woods behind the house. it is there i find peace.

the pool guy was also here this morning.  it was like a party on deck.  the water is still green but getting better.  robert promises he will get it fixed.  joanie and i have plans for water aerobics this summer in lieu of walking in the miasma of summer heat.  i need to perfect my underwater self.

rambling to a totally different topic . . . my early morning net reading includes several blogs; some i have been reading for years and some that are relatively new.  they all touch me on some level.  while some fiercely attack my funny bone, some lift me up, and still others infuse me with their spirit.  unfortunately, there is appearing, a newly sprung commonality among three of them.  divorce.  and it hurts to think of these strong women fighting to right their equilibrium.

and so i thought, which is harder:

when i divorced my first husband, it was not he I missed. instead, i mourned the failure of my marriage. my inability to make a lasting healthy connection.  that is until i got further from the pain and realized that my marriage was destined to fail because my husband had priorities other than kidlet and i.  we deserved better.  i hope these women come to that same realization.

losing the sloth was different.  it was like losing my soul.  the pain is deep and searing.  it has shaken my core and rocked my faith.  it is not the sting of  'why did he not love us enough',  it is the pain of losing someone who loved us completely.

and so for me, it was, of course,  his loss.  the emptiness in my heart.  the stillness where there once lived laughter.  and while i realize it will get easier and i am blessed to have found him in the first place.  to have shared fifteen years of marriage. i must admit it ain't easy.  life just isn't easy. 

switching one more time: 15 months NED!!!!  You are rocking it, c.

it's not easy being green . . .

unless you happen to be Stacie's belated birthday cake . . . and no, we are not talking mold!!  This little guy was chocolate filled and oh so good. 

he only feeds about four and was quickly decimated except for his lovely green countenance.  Stacie took that home.  and i know you're not thinking I had anything to do with his making, said she who does not bake. 

kidlet and my great adventure . . .

at the gun range.  now it must be stated that the 9TS was a gun guy.  he had a great respect and love for those heavy blue chunks of metal.  he was a marksman.  he also wanted me to be able to fend for myself.  and told me who and where to call when the time came.  i am so not a gun gal, but i called anyway.

and so Sunday morning, Kidlet and I spent 3.5 hours learning the ins and outs of revolvers and semi-automatics.  safety. handling. care. and yes, firing those puppies. CAH-BLAMO!!!! i blasted that paper target.

some of the guns were so heavy my wrist was sagging.  some had quite the kick. once the instructors explained how a semi-automatic works, i had a momentary vision of a lost thumb and serious misgivings but found reasonable reassurance in their training skills and the fact that they were all EMT's.  GAH!!!  but all in all, it was a great learning experience.  and Kidlet and I will be going back to practice.

we are so bad!!!  Not!!!