the world spins . . .

sporting a new boo boo.  yes, i got into the newly sharpened knives again.  i think i need childproofing . . . you know, like the round tipped scissors we used in kindergarten . . . the better to slice you with, my little chicken thigh.

have you ever tried to pull a pair of latex gloves on over wet hands?  don't, it's like sticking your elbow in your ear.

read a free Nook book.  it drove me crazy.  one quick example:  "His other hand gently swept up the side of my body to my nipples and  brushed his fingers over my pointed traders."  and because she can't stand to use a phrase just once, i got to read it twice more by which time i realized she was trying to say "traitors".  i had to wash my brain out and start Twelve Years as a Slave.  p.s. yes, it was a self published book.  will i ever learn?

kidlet and i went to burger king for her weekly infusion of cholesterol.  she placed her order and i handed the cashier her debit card.  luckily she glanced at it before we drove off.  her burger and onion rings totaled $33 plus change. the poor guy tried valiantly to cancel the charge with little luck.  he finally just refunded her the amount in cash and then asked her to repay in cash.  huh?

i love the way my world spins.  not quite on balance.  a little quirky.  just right.

damage control . . .

i did it.

i needed a pair of bling-y, strappy black heels and i found them.  i'm excited.  it's not that the 9TS was vertically challenged, it's more that i am vertically gifted.  i'm almost 5'9" in my stocking bare feet . . . who are we kidding, i haven't worn stockings in over a 1/10th of a century.  do they still make them? i would post a photo but they have to ship mine because their only pair in my size were damaged.  probably because Donald Duck tried them on before me . . . yes, we wear the same size.  my feet are gifted as well.

so kidlet and i went on a mission.  i made it out alive with one pair of shoes.  kidlet didn't fare as well and came home with two pairs.  but then i hit Victoria Secret while she hit Bath and Body Works and the damage was fairly evenly distributed. 

of course with kidlet's heels, she is almost as tall as i am.  yep, they are THAT high, complete with platforms:

we have more damage to do.  apparently our wardrobes both petered out at the same time.

no damage control at this address, we are going with gusto.  why you ask?  we have a secret.

unforkingbelievable . . .

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a recent facebook posting:

Jeanne:  In case you were wondering, yes, you can drop a fork off the counter and have it puncture your foot. @@

Sue:  Only you, Jeanne.  Only you!  Are you okay??

              Dawn:  Oouucchhh 

              Jeanne:  LOL, beside the embarrassment and the neat row of holes, I'm fine.

              Sue:  Glad to know you don't need stitches or anything. Be careful!

Linda: Stick a fork in you, you're done.

Me and smelling vaguely like pork butt.

       Ta To:  :::marking that off my bucket list: 

Kelli:  Fork you!!!

Kelli:  Or should I say, "you really forked yourself this time"?

Deb: Ouch ! 

Michelle:  You're taking "May the Fork Be With You" a little too seriously! 

Adrian:  Oh no!!! That's forked up!! 

Tere:  Better a fork than a paring knife.

Diane: OUCH! 

TaTo: That's unforkingbelieveable! 

Ali: Ouch! 

Lisa: Oh no! 

Bethany: yikes

Chris:  Ouch. Want the crown? 

Jana:  Oh no! Ouch! 

Terry:  ouch! haven't done a fork but have dropped my meat thermometer and I know that hurts. 

Cathy: When things like that happen to me (and they do!) I always think, "if I'd been TRYING to do that, I never could have! But doing it by accident...EVERY TIME!" I'm glad you're ok--well, except for the holes! 

Leonore:  I'm glad you're okay. These puns are cracking me up! LOL

Michelle:   Cathy's holes comment made me think, "Jeanne needs Crocs!!!" 

Marsha:  Ouch! 

Bridget:   Stop forking around like that!

Tinka:  'all are forking hilarious!

Liane:  OUCH!!! So sorry! 

Grace: poke me with a fork.. I think I'm done! 

Anke:  haha, that is so you. I miss reading about your antics! 

Lynda:  I believe you're an accident waiting to happen! 

Ruth: "Yikes" 

don't i have the oddest friends????  i wouldn't trade them for anything!!!!

recycling . . .

still playing.  i may need a new hobby. 
i got all the way finished with this one, resized it, posted it and then realized it was portofino not positano.  gah!  not changing it.

i need new photos.

26 years and counting . . .

happy birthday, kidlet!!!!

fotoshop fun . . .

  this time it's my granddaughter, k2!

 this is great when i want to keep my fingers clean but . . .  i'm taking a new course which required inky messy fingers.  can't wait.

i need to get my life back under control . . .

****i just washed a load of sheets with bleach but forgot to add the already poured cup of detergent.  this not being the first time, i start to wonder where my brain has gone.

****last night i was cleaning out my laptop. too many duplicate photos.  ancient files.  housekeeping stuff but then it started beeping at me.  usually mac is good about showing you the cause.  an icon.  a flashing something, something.  i got a nothing, nothing. i resorted to rebooting it, since that seems to be the best line of defense.  still beeping.  now faster.  hum.  i finally shut down the laptop.  it glared at me, opened it's little hatch and beeped.  yes, unplugged, turn off, it had the audacity to beep at me.  again.  and a third time before i realized the sound might be coming from a slightly different angle.  turns out to my total embarrassment, it was the land line recharging.  oops.  keeper.  oh keeper, where art thou?

****tuesday of last week, my neighbor was helping me denude some of the oaks of virginia creeper.  i rarely play in the yard. poison ivy and i are not friends.  to heck with the blisters and itch.  my reaction goes right to the gut.  huge welts and hives, swollen tongue, trouble breathing.  not nice.  but we were careful.  no shiny leaves of three for she and me.  wednesday was fine.  whew. dodged that bullet.  thursday evening and my eyes were itchy.  friday morning they were worse.  so were the hives on my neck, nose and forehead. saturday morning, joanie ran and got me some benadryl.  by saturday afternoon, i looked like this:

not one of my better looks. aren't you glad i have no shame and posted this for your enjoyment.  ok, i apologize.  i finally decided i needed to hit the er.  just in case i felt like breathing a little while longer.  in and out with my prednisone, i am slowly but surely becoming a happier camper.  oh yeah, lots of wine with my whine.