goodbye sweet sloth . . .

his memorial service was packed.  what i thought would be a small family based affair, overflowed the chapel.  how did i forget how well loved he was.  police came from all over.  family, friends, the gym rats, karate choppers, even the old manager of carrabba's.

when the chaplin called asking about eulogies, my jaw dropped.  yet one more thing to worry about.  i was quizzing him about what actually was required and he said the basic premise would be:  who was the 9TS . . . what do you remember about him as a man . . . as your dad . . .  what did he mean to you.   a voice popped up from the other room and kidlet said, 'i want to write one' and so she did.  and even when she waffled about standing up in front of a crowded room, she did.  she stood and clearly spoke of her memories and her love:

How do you express how much you love someone and how grateful you are that they were in your life when the words “I love you” and “Thank you for being my dad” don’t seem to be enough? You don’t. The truth is, you can’t. Words just aren’t enough. Instead you express it through your actions.

You offer to adopt a little girl when you marry her mother, because you accept that they’re a package deal, and you want both of them in your life. And on their wedding day, you call him Dad for the first time and you never stop.

You support each other and cheer each other on when you compete in martial arts, because it’s what you both loved to do together. And when your daughter competes first and gets a black eye, you 'offer' to make a cut under the swelling, just like Rocky, so she can continue to compete. Later when you compete, she cheers you on, a compress pressed to her eye, still swollen shut since she . . . um . . . declined your offer to help.  And at some point, you both decided together that you wouldn’t tell mom what happened until we’re on our way home.

After your middle toe has been removed due to the cancer, your daughter cheerfully informs you that your foot now looks like the Vulcan hand symbol from Star Trek. And when you ask her to check out your odd little bumps and bruises, she looks you in the eye and calls you 'weird', even though you’ve been taking care of her bumps and bruises since she was five.

When you have to start driving down and back to Tampa, your daughter argues that she should get to go too. Eventually you let her, because you know she’s just as stubborn as you. As you start feeling worse, she wrangles her way into going to more of the appointments, and eventually you find yourself sitting in the backseat of your car while she drives.  At least you know she’ll stay awake, since she bought a coffee earlier with 'your credit card'.

And when it comes down to the last appointment, she sits in the waiting room while you and mom consult with the doctor, because you’re afraid that the news won’t be good and you don’t want to put her through that. When you change your mind and ask where she is, mom goes to get her from the waiting room, and she joins you without a second thought. And even though you don’t want her to miss school, she stays at home with you until the very end.

The truth is that even though “I love you” and “Thank you for being my dad” doesn’t convey how much I loved him and how grateful I am that I got to have him in my life, I’m not worried that he didn’t know. Because I know how much he loved me, and he didn’t even have to say anything.
Although Craig could not bear to read his, the Chaplin shared the following:

I want to thank everyone for coming to honor my dad today.

 Everyone has someone that they look up to. That someone for me, was my dad.  He was my Superman.  He was the man on top of the mountain that no one could knock down.

He taught me when life got hard to keep my head up high . . . take it day by day . . . always keep trying, and never let life knock you down.

Not only was he a great father, but he was also a wonderful grandfather to my daughter, Kaitlyn. He got her started in tae kwon do and helped her earn her black belt.

The toughest thing I've ever had to do was to say goodbye to my superhero.  Goodbye Pop. I love you.

and so with words spoken and hearts low, we said our goodbyes to the physical  . . . but nothing will ever dim the memories we each hold dear.  he was my love, my heart, my best friend and i miss him so very, very much.