the things i do . . .

i signed up for an on-line dating site.  yes i did, she said rolling her eyes.  i'm not looking for love in all the wrong places, i'm looking for someone nice to hang out with. 

note:     ways to catch a scammer:

• Quickly asks to talk or chat on an outside email or messaging service
• Vanishes mysteriously from the site, then reappears under a different name
• Talks about "destiny" or "fate"
• Claims to be recently widowed
• Asks for your address under the guise of sending flowers or gifts
• Makes an inordinate amount of grammar and/or spelling errors
• Claims to be from U.S. but currently traveling, living or working abroad
• Ever asks you for money

dude #1

says he's italian, as in lives in italy.  his "name" is "freeloveOMFG".  you can't make this stuff up.  i tell him i'm sure he's very nice but i am looking for someone local.  he reappears and now he lives in NY but a lot of people don't care for him because he is connected.  truly.  eek!!!  again with my local line since now he has broken tip numbers 1, 2, 6, and 7.  a couple of hours later, i go to reread the bio of this mess and he has been pulled by the on-line protection service.  things are starting out well.

dude #2

this one is a killer.  his bio reads that he is a 100% disabled vet.  so respond to his hello and we chat until he tells me he is stationed in afghanistan . . . this site is, by the way, for seniors.  so i call him on this little indiscretion and he disconnects.  so now i know i have made a major boo boo into this adventure but in truth, i am laughing so hard at the absurdity of the stories that i decide this is the best fun i've had for $30 in a long, long time.

not to mention that american express absolutely refused to let me use their card on this site and sent alerts to my email, phone and cell.  mastercard let me pay but then sent both phone and email alerts.  think i should have listened?

so here's the deal.  would you say hello to this person?

A little about me...

"Seriously, no pressure"? Tell you about me? Oh Lordy, I'm seriously going to hide under the bed until this idea passes. OK, I'm bright, a little off center, tall . . . as in almost 5"9". Not what you wanted to hear? My husband passed away four years ago and I miss being with someone, so I'm looking for a friend. Emphasis on friend. This is all new to me so I'm going to fasten my seat belt and see what happens. Want to go along for the ride? 

 

About the one I'm looking for...

Look, I'm honest, I want you to be too. I also want you to be: trustworthy. loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. Hey, if it's good enough for the boy scouts, who am I to object? I think you get the idea.

seems it got lots of responses from dudes who want to tell me to remove the "obedient" clause.   where is their sense of humor?

so mostly i spend the evening sending responses saying, 'you look like a nice guy but i am looking for someone a little closer to home.'  that works fine until dude #3 tells me his willing to move.  gah.

dude #968 actually gets a chuckle from my bio.  wants to meet for breakfast the following day at a local place of good repute.  he's a seemingly nice 75 year old, so how bad can this be?  he actually turned out to be a very nice guy and we had a two and a half hour breakfast.  did he set my heart afire.  nope.  would it bother me if i never set eyes on him again?  nope.  but he filled-in an almost three hour gap that turned out to be very pleasant.

i can see the 9TS rolling his eyes at me and getting ready to throw thunderbolts. 

p.s. a storm front came through this afternoon with great pounding rain and boomers.  i love you too my dear sloth.  just lonesome.