the good, the bad and the ugly . . .

When I was on the phone with the gentleman from Social Security the other day, he was running down his list of bureaucratic questions.  He asked, among other things, if I had been married before, to which I replied yes.  Did it last more than ten years, no.  Did it end in death or divorce?  Without blinking an eye, I told him I wanted to kill him but logic prevailed and I divorced him instead.

But later, I started to think.  What is it about the mention of my first husband that still incites such anger in me all these years later? 

Is it the fact that he couldn't keep a job, or that he cheated, or that he was an alcoholic, verbally abusive?  Pick one.  Any one. They all qualify.

The truth is, after all these years I am still angry and hurt that he chose a bottle over us.  That alcohol was more important than his wife and daughter.  I understand that it is a disease that ravages the soul. I get it that he was a self medicating depressant.   I get that, I really do . . . but the pain it caused is irreparable.  So through the clouds of disappointment, I filed for divorce.  I had failed at being able to keep a marriage intact.  Failed . . . 

Three years later, the gang I worked with invited me to their usual Friday night celebration at another one of our hotels.  I headed over to say hi to my boss and he introduced me to  . . .   the 9TS.   Didn't see that one coming, did you?

Three years after that, we were married  . . . on the beach.  The 9TS doesn't drink but occasionally, he doesn't cheat, he's a retired top cop and has never said a nasty word to me.  And that is where the comparisons stop . . .  because truly, there really aren't any.  He is the love of my life.

So while there has been ugly in my life that left scars, it also left me with one wonderful kidlet.  While there has been bad, it has left me stronger and where there has been good, it has only gotten better.   

Here's to you my beloved 9TS and to all the rest of the days of our lives!