aqua virgins . . .

 
As you know, Joanie and I have been doing our five mile treks four mornings a week for over a year now and we have detected two eminent fallacies in our strategy.

The first being that although our walks are, without a doubt, beneficial, they do little for our upper bodies and trust me, even at our age, bat wings are not in vogue.  Under this category also falls 'sock tans'.  And no, at 63, I am neither a golfer nor a jock.  I like one solid color from the top of my legs to the bottom of my little painted piggies. Vanity, oh sweet vanity.

The other, of course, being that we are entering Florida's hot and muggy season, which will last a mere six months.  Along with sweat collecting on my eyebrows and then dripping with regularity down the inside of my glasses until I am blinded and have fallen off the sidewalk, the sweat is also apparently attractive to mosquitoes, who are fighting the turkey vultures for size and voracity.  They especially like the back of my neck and that soft spot behind my knees, both of which are vulnerable while stopping to feed the turtles.  I do not look good in polka dots. 

To remedy the situation, we invited our good buddy Lee to come over and instruct Joanie and I in the art of water aerobics, Lee being Aqua Queen of the South and all.   We figured water aerobics would eliminate the outpouring of salt droplets from our bodies, put a stop to being food for another swarm of airborne blood suckers and eradicate white foot syndrome, to say nothing of tightening up the flab kidlet so kindly refers to as Mushy-Mush. 

Donned with color coordinated 'noodles' . . . Joanie looking very spiffy with her purple 'noodle' accenting her purple floral suit . . .  and our empty plastic milk bottles, class began.  As Lee led us through a series  of struts, frog like maneuvers, splits and Radio City worthy high kicks, she covered the gamut of under water exercises to tantalize, tone and tan.  An hour later, with Lee still going strong, Joanie and I crept up the pool stairs and plopped our dragging butts onto chaise lounges.  The least I could do was offer up Bloody Marys and fresh fruit.  Reinforced with alcohol, we deemed the session a rousing success and gleefully thanked Lee, our new mentor and queen.  She, not to be out done, dubbed us Aqua Virgins.  And thus, the pool is officially open . . . let the fun begin!!!!